There is a blog/website that I follow and today this was an excerpt from their posting. It really touched me and even though it made me sad...it also gave me hope. Hope for better days, hope for less heartache, hope for less tears, hope for our future without Poppa.
How to Find Gratitude When Someone You Love Dies
One of the absolute hardest realities to cope with is death. A person who gave meaning to our life is now no longer in our life (at least not in the flesh), and we are not the same person without them. We have to change who we are—we are now a best friend who sits alone, a widow instead of a wife, a dad without a daughter, or a next-door neighbor to someone new. We want life to be the way it was, before death, and yet it never will be.
But, can we still be grateful we had the gift of this person in our lives? Yes…
When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open. And the bad news is you never completely get over the loss—you will never forget them. However, in a backwards way, we gradually learned that this is also the good news.
Ultimately, we grew to appreciate that although death is an ending, it is also a necessary part of living. And even though endings like these often seem ugly, they are necessary for beauty too—otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the ultimate limit—a reminder that we need to be aware of this beautiful person, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Death is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone special, this ending, like the loss of any wonderful life situation, is a moment of reinvention. Although deeply sad, their passing forces us to gradually reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And finally, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life, and to be grateful for the beauty they showed us.
My poor neglected blog :-(
Its almost a year since I have posted and OH how things have changed since then! This week is 3 months since I lost my soulmate..the love of my life..my partner...my children and grand children's Poppa...my rock!
Most days I don't know how I make it through, but I do because I have to and he would want me to. I miss him terribly. My heart is broken. I hurt for my children. I hurt for my grand kids. But we go on, with so many wonderful memories of Poppa. We go on with the love and support of each other.
It's what we do.
I have sat down a few times to write this blog post but my heart just wasn't in it. I am not even sure my heart would ever be in it. All I can do is try....for Poppa!
Nothing can ever truly prepare you for losing your soulmate. There are so many emotions involved. Some days I am just here...other days are okay. I think God makes it that way because I don't know how anyone could survive in that deep dark place every single day, every single hour.
So I decided to try this blogging thing again hoping it is cathartic for me. If it is, good! If it isn't, then I will have to find something that is..I promise all of my future blogs will not be of sadness...
It's a new day, a new week & one without the worry of hurricanes! Hopefully fall will truly arrive later this week. I know like most of you, I am so ready for the cooler temps! I know I have said it before but fall is really my favorite time of the year. It reminds me of my Daddy, of our wedding day, of sugar cane grinding season and of fall festivals!
Preheat oven to 350 and grease an 8x4 bread loaf pan.
Roll out pizza dough into a rectangle that's about 16x8 inches in size.
In a small mixing bowl, combine pumpkin, sugar, spices and pecans. Mix until all incorporated.
Brush dough with melted butter and drizzle ¼ cup of caramel all over the dough.
Spread pumpkin mixture evenly all over the dough.
Cut the dough easily using a pizza cutter, lengthwise, into three long strips. Then cut in width-wise, creating squares. Stack squares and place them side-by-side into the prepared loaf pan. Drizzle some more caramel over the top and place in the oven.
It's hard to believe that he is already 1 week old!
Slow down please!
We are all so in love with him and so blessed!
Addie and Brenan are amazing parents and Kylee is an awesome big sister!
There is certainly no lack of love and affection for this sweet baby! He is such a good baby, only fusses when he is hungry or needs a diaper change. It is such an awesome feeling to be YaYa and Poppa again! And Josh is such a great big cousin...he just loves that boy!
Let the spoiling begin, or should I say let it continue!
I was going to post this yesterday but my heart just wasn't in the right place.
Today is a new day so here goes!
One year ago yesterday, everything changed...I changed, my family changed, my outlook on life changed! ALL for the better! One year ago I was admitted to the hospital for congestive heart failure. I had not been feeling well for quite a while but just kept pushing ( very little) and I guess I was in denial about my health. Us nurses tend to do that...care for everyone but ourselves! I honestly don't remember very much about that weekend before. The last really good recollection I have is going to Joshua's Grandparents day mass then to the Dr for a general check up. Very vague recollection of going out to eat for Addie's birthday that Sunday and no recollection of having friends over to swim for Labor Day. I do not even remember going to the ER that day, nor do I remember my almost 2 week stay at St Anne's. I have pictures of the day my family came to visit, but I do not remember it! That is very scary and a strange feeling. Many have told me, maybe its a good thing you don't remember. I am not so sure of that...to have lost 2 weeks is just not a good feeling. I don't expect anyone to understand that, it just is what it is! The next 2 weeks at Thibodaux Regional were rough but at least I DO remember that! Those poor people who worked in Rehab have a special place in heaven that is for sure! I know I gave them a rough time...but had it not been for them pushing me I would not be where I am today!
And my family....oh my poor family! I am so sorry to have scared you all and for not being a very good patient. But I was scared also. They never gave up on me and pushed me day after day. I saw a different side of my marriage....one that warms my heart when I think about it.
In sickness and in health...takes on a whole new meaning.
Thank you Rene' for being so patient with me.
My children...what can I say?
They never left my side and pushed me day after day. I know that was not easy for them but as a Mom it makes you feel so good to realize that you raised your children to be kind and caring and loving! I honestly don't think I would have come this far if it was not for them!
Thank you Addie, Jordan, Kristen and Brenan!
I am so proud of them!
Has it been easy? Heck no.
Has it been worth it? Hell yes!
So much has changed but all of it for the better!
I miss my work family...I miss my work!
But I know I did the right thing by retiring early. I think about all of my patients and Mom's who I hope I helped just a little along the way. I got so much joy out of knowing that my words of advice helped a Mom to know that she was doing the right thing, just needed some validation!
Thank you Dr Cruse and Dr Peltier for allowing me to be the nurse that I was!
What a year it has been!
And now we await the arrival of our new grandson with so much joy!
AND I get to be home to spoil him, just as I do Joshua and Kylee!
Isn't it amazing how the simplest thing can trigger a memory in our lives? This morning as I am scrolling through FB, I came across a recipe for chicken spaghetti and memories of my Daddy came flooding back to me. Good memories...happy times...special days...family times! That can all be taken away within minutes but thank God those memories linger forever. No one can ever take that from us. I miss my Daddy so very much.
But the memories...oh so sweet!
This past weekend we celebrated another milestone in our lives...a baby shower for our sweet little Abel. It seems like he will make his arrival sooner than the end of the month and we are all so ready to meet him. None of us more ready than his Mommy and Daddy! and of course his big sister! It's been a rough couple of months for Addie but she has been so strong and I am so proud of her. She is going to be an amazing Mommy...she already is! Now we just wait for his arrival so we can begin the spoiling...that's what grandparents are for right?
Here are a few pictures from the shower.
My baby...having a baby! Awe !!
Sending prayers to our neighbors in Texas as Hurricane Harvey approaches their coast!
In a large pot, heat olive oil to medium/high temperature. Lightly season raw thigh or breast with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, then batter in flour. Discard any remaining flour. Brown chicken in olive oil for about 2 – 3 minutes each side. If chicken sticks, let it fry for a minute or two longer.
Add all remaining ingredients into the pot and mix well, including mushrooms and rotisserie chicken. Cover and let simmer slowly for 1 hour stirring occasionally. Serve hot over rice and garnish with chopped green onions. Enjoy!
Have a wonderful weekend and stay dry if you can!
Love to all of you! XoXoXo
