4 MONTHS

So this week makes 4 months! 4 MONTHS ! That is so hard to imagine much less speak it out loud. Our lives completely changed 4 months ago...and will never be the same. We miss him terribly and think of him every single moment. Some days the pain is so immense that my body actually hurts, then other says its like a dull ache that comes and goes with the great memories we hold on to. Thank God for those days!

 One day we will find a new normal... I pray!

My kids and grand kids have been so amazing. Even in their own pain they have always made sure that I am OK. Little do they know that every single day I worry that THEY are OK.  I read a quote this morning that really touched me. 

"Appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had". 

Such a true statement. If only we could really live by it!  

We take so much for granted. 

Then suddenly one day you realize that...don't let it be too late. 

Let those special ones in your life know just how special they truly are to you!

"Appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had"

I thought I would share a fall recipe with you all. 

I am just trying to get this blog back to what it used to be.

Ooey Gooey Autumn Spice Cake

Ingredients

 For the crust: 

1 (15.25-ounce) box spice cake mix

 1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 stick, melted 

1 egg

 For the filling:

 1 (8-ounce) block cream cheese, softened

 2 eggs 

1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 stick, melted 

4 cups powdered sugar

 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 Instructions 

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F and lightly spray a 13x9-inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. 2. In a large bowl, stir the cake mix, melted butter, and egg together to make the crust. Press the mixture evenly into the bottom of the pan. 

3. In a another large bowl, use a mixer to beat the cream cheese until smooth.

 Add the eggs and mix well. Add the butter and mix well.

 Gradually add the powdered sugar and mix until combined.

 Mix in the vanilla. Pour the filling mixture over the crust.

 4. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until the edges are just firm but the middle is still jiggly.

 Cool completely before slicing into squares.

Ooey Gooey Autumn Spice Cake

The Good Times

At this time 2 years ago, I was in the hospital fighting for my life. Even though I have very little recollection of that time, I do recall bits and pieces. I remember how much my family supported me and prayed for me. I remember how angry I was that I had to stay in the hospital for so long. I remember cursing those darn therapists who pushed me so hard (Thank God for them). But most of all I remember how much Rene' worried and took care of me, and pushed me every day. But all of those times in between, I have no memory of...maybe that is just how it was meant to be? I still have a ways to go, but I also have come so far! Never did I think that 2 short years later, I would not have Rene in my everyday life. We are never promised tomorrow...oh how true is that statement!

I promised to get my blog back to what it used to me...fun and upbeat...that time has come. Thank you all for being so patient with me and my days of sad blogging. Its been very helpful to me to be able to put those feelings into writing. And there are still some days that all I can do it cry and write about sad times. But I am choosing to remember the good times and let those good times carry me through my pain.

THIS is one of those good times!

You're Gonna Be Okay

Being valued by your employer is so important. Rene's company sent this to me yesterday. It now hangs in the office where he used to work. I cannot tell you how much this touches our hearts. I pray that he knows how much they appreciate and miss him!

Most days are still so hard and it doesn't take much for the tears to flow.

One day at a time.

I am looking forward to fall, it's my favorite time of the year..

This fall will be so different though.

Having to find a new normal is so difficult.

But we're gonna be okay!

You're Gonna Be Okay