4 MONTHS

So this week makes 4 months! 4 MONTHS ! That is so hard to imagine much less speak it out loud. Our lives completely changed 4 months ago...and will never be the same. We miss him terribly and think of him every single moment. Some days the pain is so immense that my body actually hurts, then other says its like a dull ache that comes and goes with the great memories we hold on to. Thank God for those days!

 One day we will find a new normal... I pray!

My kids and grand kids have been so amazing. Even in their own pain they have always made sure that I am OK. Little do they know that every single day I worry that THEY are OK.  I read a quote this morning that really touched me. 

"Appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had". 

Such a true statement. If only we could really live by it!  

We take so much for granted. 

Then suddenly one day you realize that...don't let it be too late. 

Let those special ones in your life know just how special they truly are to you!

"Appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had"

I thought I would share a fall recipe with you all. 

I am just trying to get this blog back to what it used to be.

Ooey Gooey Autumn Spice Cake

Ingredients

 For the crust: 

1 (15.25-ounce) box spice cake mix

 1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 stick, melted 

1 egg

 For the filling:

 1 (8-ounce) block cream cheese, softened

 2 eggs 

1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 stick, melted 

4 cups powdered sugar

 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 Instructions 

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F and lightly spray a 13x9-inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. 2. In a large bowl, stir the cake mix, melted butter, and egg together to make the crust. Press the mixture evenly into the bottom of the pan. 

3. In a another large bowl, use a mixer to beat the cream cheese until smooth.

 Add the eggs and mix well. Add the butter and mix well.

 Gradually add the powdered sugar and mix until combined.

 Mix in the vanilla. Pour the filling mixture over the crust.

 4. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until the edges are just firm but the middle is still jiggly.

 Cool completely before slicing into squares.

Ooey Gooey Autumn Spice Cake

The Good Times

At this time 2 years ago, I was in the hospital fighting for my life. Even though I have very little recollection of that time, I do recall bits and pieces. I remember how much my family supported me and prayed for me. I remember how angry I was that I had to stay in the hospital for so long. I remember cursing those darn therapists who pushed me so hard (Thank God for them). But most of all I remember how much Rene' worried and took care of me, and pushed me every day. But all of those times in between, I have no memory of...maybe that is just how it was meant to be? I still have a ways to go, but I also have come so far! Never did I think that 2 short years later, I would not have Rene in my everyday life. We are never promised tomorrow...oh how true is that statement!

I promised to get my blog back to what it used to me...fun and upbeat...that time has come. Thank you all for being so patient with me and my days of sad blogging. Its been very helpful to me to be able to put those feelings into writing. And there are still some days that all I can do it cry and write about sad times. But I am choosing to remember the good times and let those good times carry me through my pain.

THIS is one of those good times!

You're Gonna Be Okay

Being valued by your employer is so important. Rene's company sent this to me yesterday. It now hangs in the office where he used to work. I cannot tell you how much this touches our hearts. I pray that he knows how much they appreciate and miss him!

Most days are still so hard and it doesn't take much for the tears to flow.

One day at a time.

I am looking forward to fall, it's my favorite time of the year..

This fall will be so different though.

Having to find a new normal is so difficult.

But we're gonna be okay!

You're Gonna Be Okay

Good days, not so good days, really bad days!

SO true...there is no rule book....no time frame on grief.

Some days you don't even want to get out of bed, but you do.

Some days you don't want to talk to anyone, but you do.

Some days all you can do it cry, so you do.

Then all of a sudden, one day you have a really good day, so you cherish it!

That was yesterday...and so far today isn't so bad.

Thank you for a good day!!

This blog was never intended to be sad or a blog about grieving but

like "they" say...Shit happens.

I promise one day it will not be all about doom and gloom

or grief and pain.

One day it will be about living a new normal, whatever that may be!

One day it will be about being able to talk about him without the tears flowing.

But until then, I celebrate the good days and pray they come more often.

And they will!

How to Find Gratitude When Someone You Love Dies

There is a blog/website that I follow and today this was an excerpt from their posting. It really touched me and even though it made me sad...it also gave me hope. Hope for better days, hope for less heartache, hope for less tears, hope for our future without Poppa.

How to Find Gratitude When Someone You Love Dies

One of the absolute hardest realities to cope with is death.  A person who gave meaning to our life is now no longer in our life (at least not in the flesh), and we are not the same person without them.  We have to change who we are—we are now a best friend who sits alone, a widow instead of a wife, a dad without a daughter, or a next-door neighbor to someone new.  We want life to be the way it was, before death, and yet it never will be.

But, can we still be grateful we had the gift of this person in our lives?  Yes…

 When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open.  And the bad news is you never completely get over the loss—you will never forget them.  However, in a backwards way, we gradually learned that this is also the good news.

Ultimately, we grew to appreciate that although death is an ending, it is also a necessary part of living.  And even though endings like these often seem ugly, they are necessary for beauty too—otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited.  Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the ultimate limit—a reminder that we need to be aware of this beautiful person, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life.  Death is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone special, this ending, like the loss of any wonderful life situation, is a moment of reinvention.  Although deeply sad, their passing forces us to gradually reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places.  And finally, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life, and to be grateful for the beauty they showed us.

Marc and Angel Hack Life

POPPA

My poor neglected blog :-(
Its almost a year since I have posted and OH how things have changed since then! This week is 3 months since I lost my soulmate..the love of my life..my partner...my children and grand children's Poppa...my rock!

 Most days I don't know how I make it through, but I do because I have to and he would want me to. I miss him terribly. My heart is broken. I hurt for my children. I hurt for my grand kids. But we go on, with so many wonderful memories of Poppa. We go on with the love and support of each other. 

It's what we do. 

I have sat down a few times to write this blog post but my heart just wasn't in it. I am not even sure my heart would ever be in it. All I can do is try....for Poppa!

Nothing can ever truly prepare you for losing your soulmate. There are so many emotions involved. Some days I am just here...other days are okay. I think God makes it that way because I don't know how anyone could survive in that deep dark place every single day, every single hour. 

So I decided to try this blogging thing again hoping it is cathartic for me. If it is, good! If it isn't, then I will have to find something that is..I promise all of my future blogs will not be of sadness...

but for today...

I am very sad.

 And I miss him so much. 

WAITING FOR FALL!

It's a new day, a new week & one without the worry of hurricanes! Hopefully fall will truly arrive later this week. I know like most of you, I am so ready for the cooler temps! I know I have said it before but fall is really my favorite time of the year. It reminds me of my Daddy, of our wedding day, of sugar cane grinding season and of fall festivals! 

We spent the day yesterday at La Fete Des Vieux Temps. 

It was hot but we had an amazing time! 

Great food, great entertainment and special times spent with our lil family!

 Even Abel enjoyed the festivities!

Isn't he just the cutest thing ever? 

And such a good baby! He is so loved and so lovable!

It's hard to believe he will be 4 weeks old this Thursday!

These two had a pretty good time too!!

Lord we are so blessed!!!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and your week ahead brings you

happiness!

Sharing a few links:::

LOUISIANA FESTIVALS

CAJUN COOKIN

HALLOWEEN CRAFTS

PLANTING DATES CALCULATOR - LOUISIANA

COLUMBUS DAY

EASY PUMPKIN CARAMEL PULL APART BREAD

Ingredients

1 lb pizza dough

⅔ cup pumpkin puree

½ cup crushed pecans

½ cup brown sugar

1 tsp cinnamon

½ tsp allspice

¼ tsp nutmeg

1 Tbsp melted butter

¼ cup caramel + more for drizzle on top

Flour for surface

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 and grease an 8x4 bread loaf pan.

Roll out pizza dough into a rectangle that's about 16x8 inches in size.

In a small mixing bowl, combine pumpkin, sugar, spices and pecans. Mix until all incorporated.

Brush dough with melted butter and drizzle ¼ cup of caramel all over the dough.

Spread pumpkin mixture evenly all over the dough.

Cut the dough easily using a pizza cutter, lengthwise, into three long strips. Then cut in width-wise, creating squares. Stack squares and place them side-by-side into the prepared loaf pan. Drizzle some more caramel over the top and place in the oven.

Bake for 35-38 minutes.

WILL COOK FOR SMILES

Have a blessed day!